Now What? Ramblings about health and life...

It's been 2 weeks since the race. As I've gone over the day in my head, I of course, have analyzed every aspect of the day. What could I have done better? Faster? This race was my sole focus for a year and now it's done. What do I do now? Create new goals I suppose, but somehow it doesn't feel that easy. It's weird sometimes, because I'm often referred to as an "inspiration" to others. I understand why someone might think that, I really do, but I don't feel like an inspiration at all. I feel like a person who is trying to figure out how to not be sick all the time.

I had another surgery 5 days ago. 10 days after the race. It was a pretty minor procedure in the list of my surgeries. It was an outpatient procedure. I went home the same day. I have this vision of myself as pretty tough when it comes to medical stuff. I've had 2 open heart surgeries. A pacemaker implanted. I've had my appendix removed in an underdeveloped country (Tajikistan) WITHOUT general anesthesia (they used Novocaine to numb the area and I was awake).

I've been really frustrated with myself because this minor, outpatient procedure has made me really sore for the past 4 days. Sore to the point that I haven't been to the gym, I've spent days lying on the couch, resting. I'll complain about being sore and my wife keeps reminding me that I just had surgery, but somehow it doesn't register. "I should be better by now. I should be up and active. I shouldn't still be sore. I shouldn't still be resting." These are my thoughts. No one else expects this of me, but I expect it of me. I don't feel like an inspiration. I feel like a failure. A sick person.

Thankfully, I'm a person that has the ability to reason with myself. That's just how I feel, that's not who I am. I do get sick, but then I get better and when I'm better, I always push myself to try to do more, do something I couldn't do before. So...Now What?

I start again.

2015 has been a difficult year. A dear friend and amazing human being died earlier this year, unexpectedly. We moved to a different region of the country. There's been so much loss. Not just this year, but the past several years. Family, friends, faith, comfort, health, finances. Everything has been impacted.

We're slowly moving into Fall. My favorite time of year. Things slow down, it's preparation for Winter and the end of another year. My wife and I are doing a Whole 30. It's a 30 day cleanse. No Sugar, no alcohol, no dairy, grains or soy. It's a reboot of sorts. I hope this time frame-the 30 days of the Whole 30 and the next 3 months of Fall can prepare me to say farewell to this difficult, challenging and beautiful year and get ready to welcome all the new challenges and adventures of next year.

Goals? I'm not sure yet. I know I'm going to do the Chicago Olympic Triathlon again next year, but other than that, I'm going to try and give myself a break from "goals" and just try to enjoy my favorite time of year. 

Chicago Triathlon-Race Report

I did it!!! I finished my first Olympic distance triathlon!

I didn't go into race day feeling very confident. I had a difficult training summer with illness, loss, unexpected travel and more missed training sessions than I was comfortable with. I had to make a lot of mental and physical adjustments in the days leading up to the race. Whenever I would talk about "goals" for the race, I publicly would say, "I just want to finish!" and while that was true, I always have more private, personal goals. When I started on this journey 4 months ago, I was hopeful that I could complete the race in under 4 hours. By the time race day came around, I was hopeful to finish in under 5 hours...

My official time: 4:17:18!

 I'm very happy with my time. I know I can improve on it and I definitely plan on more triathlons to get that time closer to 3:30:00 in the future. One of the big areas I can improve on is time in transition. I spent almost 20 minutes in transition between T1 and T2. (T1=between swim and bike, T2=between bike and run).

Here's the breakdown of my day:

I woke up at 3am (went to bed around 8:30pm) to eat breakfast and have coffee (thanks to my amazing wife, who woke up with me) with enough time to get all the last minute things together, a pit stop to the bathroom and out the door by 4am to walk over to the transition area. Oh, I forgot to mention, my apartment is a 10 minute walk to the transition area/race start. Some days, its the small things...

If you don't know, the Chicago Triathlon is the largest Triathlon in the U.S. with 9,000 participants, so the transition area is huge and very tight. You rack your bike (thankfully, CES has it's own rack area and it was right next to the bike in/bike out area) and lay out everything you will need for the day (bike helmet, bike shoes, running shoes, race belt, sunglasses, extra water, nutrition, etc...) in a small space next to your bike. I grab my wetsuit, neoprene swim socks (because lake Michigan was 62 degrees), goggles, swim cap and head over to find the CES tent close to the swim start at Monroe Harbor. Here are some pics from the CES tent pre-race

SWIM:
We jumped into Lake Michigan at 6:06am to wait for our 6:08 wave start. The water was COLD! Even with the wetsuit and swim socks, the cold water made it difficult to breathe. I knew I needed to get my head under water before the buzzer went off but when I put my head under, I came up and could hardly breathe from the cold. It was time to swim. I tried to put my head in the water to start freestyle swimming and couldn't keep my breath even with my head in the water, so I flipped over on my back to get some air and started to backstroke. I found that I could backstroke with no trouble and I managed to create some space so I wouldn't hit to many people and could sight now and then to make sure I was going in the right direction. I have a decent backstroke, and I felt like I was going at a pretty steady pace, so I stuck with that plan and ended up backstroking the entire 1640 yards.

BIKE:
The race has volunteers at the swim exit to help you out, which is really helpful, because it was pretty disorienting coming out of the water. At the swim exit, you're 1/4 mile from the transition area and the end of your "official" swim time. I jog the 1/4 mile to transition and stop before I get to the very tight row of bikes to get my wetsuit off. I take entirely too long in transition, but I decided to try and eat something and have some Gatorade before getting on the bike. I'm still a nervous cyclist and I was worried about trying to eat and drink too much while also riding. If you read my last post, you know that I got clipless pedals (shoes that clip into the pedal so you are attached to the bike pedal). I practiced with the clipless pedals for a couple weeks and went out and practiced in the grass so I wouldn't hurt myself and I consistently fell over. I have a lot of difficulty getting out of the pedals (they've been loosened, but may need to be adjusted again...and I clearly need more practice) and I was really unsure about using them in a race when I wasn't confident with them. I didn't want to cause or be a part of an accident, so I decided to switch pedals back to my flat pedals and ride in my running shoes. I'm planning to practice more and hopefully next season I will be flying along with my clipless pedals! The bike was a pretty cool course, the first 15 or so miles is on Lake Shore Drive. As someone who only takes public transit on LSD, I had no idea how hilly it is! Then, we're down in lower wacker drive and if you've seen Dark Knight, it would look familiar! I felt like batman zooming along on my bike in the underground tunnels. Finally, 25 miles later, I'm at the bike dismount area and I just have the run left.

RUN:
I spent much less time in transition, but considering I didn't need to change shoes, it was still too long. I also had to go to the bathroom at this point. I cross the official run start line and immediately stop in the port-a-toilet. I was quick and it was still pretty clean, thankfully. Now, I just need to run and my legs feel like bricks. I shuffle along for about a mile and then my left foot goes numb. I stop and stretch and try and get some feeling back in my foot. It's a little better, so I start to run at a pretty slow pace, but I'm moving. The run was beautiful along the lakefront and the crowd of people cheering was awesome! I tried to stick with my run/walk ratio of 5:1 (5 min run/1 min walk) and was able to maintain that for about 2 miles and then went down to 2:1's as my left foot continued to be slightly numb and my left IT band was starting to bother me. Finally I saw the 6 mile marker and knew I only had .2 miles left and the crowd was amazing. I picked up my pace a little as I ran down the final stretch and I hear the announcer yell, "And it's Mayor Rahm Emmanuel coming in to the finish!" and look up and there is our mayor, flanked by a couple other people just about 10 seconds ahead of me! I can see the finish line and I start to tear up. I'm so exhausted and emotional about this journey I am on and then, "Here's Kimberly Green!" I'm done. I've done it!

As soon as I crossed the finish line, I saw Phen (my wife) and immediately started sobbing. The exhaustion and emotions of the past 4 hours, and the past 4 months, and the past 4 years all collided and I sobbed. It was a difficult training season in a difficult year of a difficult season in life. So much loss. So much sickness. So much change. But I did it. My body is stronger than I think. I am stronger than I think.

Anything is possible.

 Also, my wife completed her first ever triathlon! She did the supersprint the day before. A 400 yard swim, 6 mile bike and 1.5 mile run! I'm super proud of her! It was a really crappy day, wet and cold and she persevered and completed it! Here's a photo!